Thursday, December 19, 2013

Bonner case going to grand jury

JJ confirmed Rankin-Madison District Attorney Michael Guest will present the findings of the Abigail Bonner investigation to a grand jury next month.  The D.A. met with Madison police yesterday for several hours.  The Clarion Ledger reported today:

Details of the Madison police investigation into the death of Abigail Bonner will be presented to a grand jury in January for possible criminal charges, the district attorney says.

“We did meet with Madison police for several hours this morning,” Madison-Rankin District Attorney Michael Guest said Wednesday. “They have turned their (investigation) file over to us. At this point, we do intend to present the case to the grand jury at its regular meeting in January.”

Madison police also said they want a grand jury to consider the evidence they’ve been gathering for more than four months.

Bonner, 17, a home-schooled resident of Madison and daughter of Lance and Rachel Bonner, was reported missing Aug. 3. Investigators said family members initially told police she might have run away, perhaps to New York City.

Her body was discovered Aug. 14 about a mile from her home in a wooded area next to Madison Avenue Upper Elementary School. There were no obvious signs of trauma or indicators of foul play when Abigail Bonner was first examined, but the degree of decomposition was great, investigators said.

Foul play has never been ruled out, however, and a ruling of suicide was not made. Investigators still won’t say how they believe she died — or why.

They will not discuss the position her body was in when it was found, whether any items were found with her body and whether she walked to the place where she was found or was taken there — dead or alive — by someone else.

Abigail Bonner’s body was sent to the Mississippi Crime Lab for toxicology testing in hopes the results would shed more light on her death.

Madison police received the toxicology report Oct. 7 — along with a summary report of the Mississippi Bureau of Investigation’s Crime Lab and autopsy findings — but they haven’t made them public, citing the ongoing investigation.

Although Guest said the police investigation has been completed, Madison police Lt. Eddie Lawrence said “until this case is presented to the grand jury, it’s an active and ongoing investigation.”

Lawrence said he would “absolutely not” discuss what his department will tell the grand jury or what charges he would like grand jurors to deliberate.

County grand juries consider information presented to them by law enforcement officers and the district attorney’s office then decide whether to issue indictments.

Lance and Rachel Bonner couldn’t be reached Wednesday.

Guest said the case has received “a lot of exposure in the media and on social media.

“Now that the investigation is completed, myself and Chief (Gene) Waldrop agree that this was a case where all of the facts and the investigation … those findings be presented to a grand jury so that they can make a final determination as to what actions, if any, need to be taken,” Guest said .

Several reader accused this site of shutting down all questions about this case or indirectly engaging in a cover-up. Now that this news is reported, allow me to retort, to quote Pulp Fiction. The Bonner case arouses strong emotions in people. A young woman disappears and is found dead in some woods not far from her home two weeks later. Obviously a tragic case and our prayers go out to her family.

However, there are questions that remain and frankly, it is not insensitive to ask them. The parents asked for our help. Young Abigail died in our midst. We have a right to ask if her death was something besides another teen suicide. There is no right way to comment on this subject. Regardless of what I write, Some will accuse me of looking the other way while others will accuse me of putting a family through hell if past comments are any indication. However, I have some ideas about this case but have kept them to myself but for making them known to a few friends.

The interviews with the parents were rather disturbing. No emotion. Weird language. Just weird. Then there are the details of Ms. Bonner's life. My interpretation (and feel free to fire away) is she lived under a very, very high level of control. She could not go to school. She went to church but could not go to the Sunday School class for kids her age. She did not work. She had no driver's license. It would not surprise me to learn she had no Social Security card. When she went to a local fitness center to exercise, her family would tag along, sit down, and watch her the entire time she was there. In other words, it is my opinion, and I mean that- opinion, she had no real contact with the outside world that was not controlled or monitored. Religious fundamentalism? Maybe. Maybe not. However, there is a profile that implies such a level of control and it is a rather disturbing one. If she had run away, she probably had no way to take care of herself as she was so sheltered. Thus she may have felt she truly had no way out of a life she did not enjoy if such is indeed the case.

The family stated she committed suicide. The question is why? A merely troubled teen? Or was she reacting to something in her life or something done to her?  We may never know the answer. Experts have told me a body left out in the summer heat for two weeks will decompose very rapidly. It will be hard to obtain blood samples and other forms of evidence due to the advanced state of decomposition. One key question is will the family allow investigators to interview the other children outside of their presence. If not, then more questions should be asked.

Please be respectful in the comments. Please remember family members will probably read this post and the comments. Keep in mind there is an investigation. This post is not to generate headlines but to keep a community informed about a case that drew much interest and engage in a reasonable line of inquiry. Reporters often know more information than what is published. However, the media is supposed to be engaged in a search for the truth. Sometimes that requires the media act in a responsible manner. There was no neat way to write this post but I have thought about this case for quite some time. I happen to think you should know what some of my thoughts are. They can always change as evidence is presented. Meanwhile, say a prayer for Ms. Bonner and her family.  Abigail Bonner. A young lady who never had a chance to really live her life. 

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very well said, Kingfish. One of the many reasons I come to JJ is the stories you cover and how you cover them. Lots of respect to you KF.

Anonymous said...

You are handling this matter and have handled many other matters prior in a very responsible, thoughtful, and cautious manner. As a long-time reader and a Kingfish fan, I appreciate that. The facts, etc., will come out on this soon enough. I think the DA is sending it to the grand jury as more a precautionary move rather than knowing that there is something foul about the case. Regardless it is sad. Sorry that some of your readers dont appreciate your correct treatment of such a sensitive matter.

Anonymous said...

So they report her missing. The cops ask if they have any idea where she is. The parents say she went to NY on a field trip with her church once so MAYBE she met someone and ran away to NY. No history of running away yet, they are sticking to that story. Then a couple weeks later they say she COULD have committed suicide in the Madison County Journal! WOW! That's a jump from running away. SO, if you think she committed suicide and she has no car then why weren't the parents conducting a search for her around the neighborhood. We have all seen these missing person cases on TV. The parents are frantic. Calling friends and neighbors and the cops. Getting people to help look. Hell, I saw one on tv they had 100 people in a few hours that night looking for someone. These people didn't look. They put up signs. To refresh peoples memory, she was found down the street. These parents didn't go door to door, they did as little as possible while deflecting the investigation out of state. The dad works at Butler Snow. Friends of mine there thought this was all over. I told them 2 months ago its far from over and there will be an indictment. Got my first call from one of these people 10 minutes ago saying HOLY SHIT! Hope im on the jury cause I didn't believe the BS they were peddling from the get-go.

Anonymous said...

We could hash and rehash this for weeks. I resented the fact that the community got absolutely no reassurance one way or the other. It seems to me we could have been told, "The investigation is ongoing and there will be no comment at this time", rather than nothing for almost three months.

No reassurance to children across the school at the school, no reassurance to the multiple parents who posted on this site that their teenage daughter also walks in this same area and they wonder what's up with no comment from the cops.

That said, to me, the most troubling of all the weird family responses and actions was the mother, a week after the 'disappearance', saying first, "I hope nobody took her" and following that up with "I wish she would return home so we could fellowship with her".

Anonymous said...

Excellent post.

I have suspicions about this case, but they are only suspicions.

Anonymous said...

A stroke of genius by the Madison police. Give whoever a month to stew over what is ahead and think they have been discovered. It will be an interesting month. Somebodies Christmas has been ruined

Anonymous said...

I would not be so suspicious if her dad worked somewhere else. I know that comes across as inflammatory, and it is not meant to be that, but I think that fact is a fair point of conversation for a lot of folks around our town.

Anonymous said...

I am just curious what the stats are on "teen girls committing suicide in woods."

Anonymous said...

@3:53 supposedly overdosing and dying a SLOW death in 100 degree heat. In the woods. I would say the stats on that would be a big fat ZERO

Anonymous said...

madison police chief made a public statement that this was not a homicide.

note: madison pd has very little experience with violent crime investigation. most of their felony case load is people stealing from Walmart.

Anonymous said...

Maybe, just maybe, it's headed to the grand jury for a no bill.

It is a possibility folks.

Quit jumping to conclusions that none of you can support.

There is nothing like living in Christian county, cause this is EXACTLY how Geezus would act.

Anonymous said...

@5:16. They also said a cop was jogging and found the body. It's called "deflection".

Anonymous said...

If police chief says not a homicide, why is D.A. taking case to a Grand Jury? Is he wanting them to say it's not?

Anonymous said...

The chief also assured the community months ago there was no cause for alarm as 'no killer is loose in the community', paraphrasing his remark. He was and remains clueless.

Anonymous said...

What most of you fail to realize is that the grand jury, in all likelihood, will say whatever Michael Guest wants them to. Knowing his track history and general aversion to the courtroom, if any criminal charges come back he'll plead them down. And that's if the grand jury decides to move forward, which I doubt it does.

If nothing happens on the criminal case front, the public is at least owed an explanation on what happened to that girl. Public safety notwithstanding, there was a community effort to find her. Her story deserves to be told.

Anonymous said...

KF, you were clear that this these comments should remain decent, yet you allow the comment at
December 19, 2013 at 5:43 PM
to remain.

Anonymous said...

The proper authorities are investigating this case, and its going to a grand jury of our peers to review.

Why do you think you have the "right" to more of an explanation that that about a tragedy (which is private if there is no foul play)?

I think you've been reading too many tabloids. If there was a crime committed then bring it out. If not- then no one is entitled to further explanation.

Sidewalk Stroller said...

10:15 ~ Which post on here do you mistakenly think is asking for 'private' information? All that's been asked for around here from the very get-go has been some sort of reassurance or comment from the local P.D.

Nobody has asked that the case be compromised and nobody has asked for information that would impede an investigation.

And to the goob who incessantly suggests 'start your own investigation' and 'give us your facts', nobody has suggested they have any facts, only that we, as a community, are entitled to something other than four months of crickets.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like that family was pathologically strange. Poor girl being raised in such isolation and control.

Anonymous said...

Saw the whole crew at the courthouse the other day, Mom was sitting at a table with a blank look on her face and the surviving 4 kids were on treadmills. I think they are aliens. Personally, I say fuck nice and Madison County bullshit.

Justway39056 said...

These kiddies can read.

Innocence, without proof otherwise.

To besmirch the family is so wrong.

They will each grieve for years,
every meal,
Every birthday.
Have mercy.

Anonymous said...

The parents definitely have acted weird from the beginning. I must admit that, when I first saw the TV interviews the parents did shortly after their daughter's disappearance, I found that Warren Jeffs of the FLDS came to my mind. There was something about the father's demeanor and behavior, as well as the mother's appearance and behavior, that reminded me of Warren Jeffs and his group.

One thing I have long felt sure about this situation is that these parents have some MAJOR SECRETS--secrets they have been keeping not only from the public, but also from the police, and possibly even from the pastors of their church.

Why is it that these parents were so quick to claim that their daughter's death was a suicide, not only even though there was NO suicide note, but also even though the police had not found enough evidence to convince them (the police) that it was a suicide? Suicide is a terribly selfish act, so a family shouldn't claim their relative committed suicide unless there is absolutely clear and convincing proof that suicide was, in fact, the actual cause of death.

If we eventually learn that the daughter did not commit suicide, then that will mean her parents were throwing her good name and reputation "under the bus" by their having claimed it was a suicide. But, if the daughter did commit suicide, why did she?

Anonymous said...

"...and possibly even from the pastors of their church.

... Suicide is a terribly selfish act..."

Please spare us YOUR dogmatic beliefs. I know where you GOT those beliefs, considering that the first sentence I quote tells us that you are of a faith whose 'Pastors' exert control and authority over members of their congregations.

Members of the higher Protestant sects (including Presbyterians) don't think that way. In Scottish/Presbyterian culture, authority resides WITHIN The People. It does not flow from figureheads. Such thinking was the foundation of Modern Democracies.

In fact, the 'Pastors' probably bow before the authority of the church's more prominent members. Presbyterians don't tremble in fear of displeasing their 'Pastors'.

Anonymous said...

3:13; Please, take a sip of the Jim Jones grape Koolaid. Chant the mantra. Pass in peace. Ohhmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

1:12 P.M. here replying to 3:13 P.M.

I am a Christian of long-time conservative Presbyterian and Reformed belief. I do NOT believe that church members should be required to share every last thing about their lives with their pastors. But when a family has a daughter who has disappeared mysteriously, and then she is found dead, and then the family claims--not only to the public, and to the police, and to their own church congregation including their own pastors--that the daughter committed suicide, but the family cannot provide any true and conclusive evidence and proof that the daughter actually committed suicide, then something is terribly wrong.

I'm wondering if 3:13 P.M is an adult member of the family in question.

Anonymous said...

1:12- It's none of your GD business why she committed suicide if no crime was committed.

You may not like the way other people order their lives, but if they live within the confines of the law, then you need to mind your own business.

Anonymous said...

Some people are just odd and different or for lack of a better word, weird. Everyone keeps saying how odd these parents are and acted. I agree. But it doesn't necessarily mean they are devious or committed a crime or have secrets and his anything. Perhaps they are just weird people. I have met people in everyday life that I find strange and don't understand. And "normal" people commit crimes all the time. So, not saying that this is a cut and dry case but just saying that reasoning something is off about the case because the parents are strange isn't fair. They may just be "weird". Would love to hear from someone that works with dad to see if he is as idd at work as he seemed in interview.

Anonymous said...

Everyone says parents are weird. Maybe they are. Yes this story has questions but the parent behavior may be as simple as that. They are just weird. I've met weird people throughout life, doesn't mean they are devious or have secrets or are hiding anything. Some people are just plain weird. Would like to hear from someone though from dads work. Is he weird to them as he came off in interviews? Or did they see a different type person?

Anonymous said...

It is highly unusual for the parents of a teenage suicide victim to immediately accept that it was a suicide unless that child was being treated for depression.
The reason is they do not want to accept suicide is that means they missed the signs of severe depression. Parents who love their children do not easily live with that burden. They want to blame others and feel they exhausted their options.
Also, the suggestion of " running away to New York City" requires that the teen to have some help or resources that would allow that to be likely yet none were presented...no accomplice, no theft of funds, no clothes missing or anything to sell. Again, a rather odd conclusion for parents to reach so quickly.
So, while I agree that everyone is innocent until proven guilty and that I don't have enough facts to reach a firm conclusion, the behavior of the parents is unusual enough that the demands for a thorough investigation are reasonable...especially since other children remain in the home who may need protection.
Perhaps, this will end in being a cruel lesson to the family in the dangers of isolating themselves to such an extent that they failed to understand how their community would react to assumptions they saw as logical and the community saw as inexplicable.
As for me, there is enough concern for the children remaining in the home to be glad this case is going to a grand jury.

Anonymous said...

Justway 39056 ~ Sure the kids can read, but you can bet your bottom dollar their momma controls everything they read. None of them, including Abigail, God rest her soul, would do anything or go anywhere without parental instruction and careful oversight.

Anonymous said...

I do not allege that the following situation is the case here.

If a girl who is being molested commits suicide, it would be prudent to move the body to a good place to decompose the evidence of the abuse.

I have also never seen a situation where the parents had control over every bit of a kids life, including the isolation, that sexual abuse was not occurring by the father with the mother knowing but pretending it was not happening.

Of course, I wait with much anticipation to see the outcome of this one. I think if foul play occurred, they will get away with it unless the mother or one of the kids gives supporting evidence. The controlling monsters pick wives that are easily brainwashed and would never go against their husband.

Justway39056 said...

The press
(internet)
is a swift sword,
Excellent
to expose corruption,
or,
to spread corruption.

Consider,
the source of despair,
And when you do, consider,

The Iesus condemned
no women,
no children.
He condemned only Preachers
their Lawyers, and
their false witnesses.

Never criticized any other man or woman.

Be My Guest said...

10:28 is a nutcase. Meanwhile, consider this: Michael Guest is a lawyer. The father of the deceased is the CEO of one of the most "lawyered up" law firms in the state, perhaps the Southeast. Guest is either scared shitless or is in somebody's pocket.

Kingfish said...

Be..... our guest, put our service to the test

Justway39056 said...

To sly 3:37

" Argumentum
ad hominum, abusive."

That be latin for
Your fallacy of Logic, (Informal).

It means,

'Attack the man'.r
'Abuse the man'.

Good minds underthink you.

Justway39056 said...

To 3:37. (Typo)

" Argumentum
ad hominum, abusive."

That be latin for
Your fallacy of Logic, (Informal).

It means,

'Attack the man'.
'Abuse the man'.

Good minds underthink you 3:37.

Anonymous said...

The Grand Jury can ask questions if the people on it have the presence of mind to do so. The can ask the coroner and investigators the right questions. I am leaning toward 7:16's scenario though. Michael Guest can pieback for the lawyers though and give them the result they want. The powerful lawfirm could have moved mountains to find this girl when she was missing if the father had not acted like she ran away. They also would probably rather (if he has done wrong) he go free than give the firm a black eye. The very people who would usually howl for justice are possibly the ones now who don't want justice served.

Anonymous said...

Justway: We all have access to a Google list of fallacies. But, this is about the Bonner case, not your ability to copy and paste. Go away.

As has been implied, 'The Firm' can destroy Guest in the blink of a sidebar. And if the case were to ever go to trial, you'd see more recusals than the courthouse has steps.

Justway39056 said...

Underthink, (anon)

There you go again,
Degrading people.

I am pleased you are. willing to leave innocent kiddies alone long enough to attack me.
I do not mind at all.

To cause emotional trauma to these kids as y'all do,
You should consider living abroad.

Reminds me of the rage of the Dauphin in
"Henry V" at Agincourt.

(Shakespeare)
You can find it on DVD
under Branagh, Kenneth.

BTW,
That be "Copi 4th edition, Logic",
W.W.Kenyon, PhD.
Philosophy 232,
Spring 1986, Belhaven.

Lay off this family.



Justway39056 said...

Underthink, (anon)

There you go again,
Degrading people.

I am pleased you are willing to leave innocent kiddies alone long enough to attack me.
I do not mind at all.

To cause emotional trauma to these kids as y'all do,
You should consider living abroad.

Reminds me of the rage of the Dauphin in
"Henry V" at Agincourt.

(Shakespeare)
You can find it on DVD
under Branagh, Kenneth.

BTW,
That be "Copi 4th edition, Logic",
W.W.Kenyon, PhD.
Philosophy 232,
Spring 1986, Belhaven.

Lay off this family.

Anonymous said...

You weren't Dean List were you 9:56 AM

Anonymous said...

There is something clinically wrong with Justway39056. Reminds me of the Teddy Brewster character from the movie Arsonic and Old Lace. CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!

Butterfly Net said...

Justway flew over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Anonymous said...

AMEN!! December 21, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, this sounds like a real-life John Grisham novel.

Anonymous said...

I have a question??? If the parents did not let the police talk to the kids, Can a judge order them to be able to talk to the other children alone?

Anonymous said...

The police have spoken with all of the family members from the beginning of this matter. It seems that the police are concerned about being blamed for not being thorough amidst all of the media coverage. There is not going to be anything to see here except a tragic loss and a grieving family.

Anonymous said...

9:54 How do you know this? Are you the police? So the reports are in ....Make this negative national and Mary will get to the bottom of it otherwise Calling all Murders We the police of The City of Madison can't solve a crime if you do it in front of us soo come here if you want to get away with murder Oh yea and bank robbery!!!



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.